Culture shock or God's way of bringing us to the end of ourself??

Deuteronomy 31:6 - "Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you."

How very true those words are! This week I have clung to them. I have reminded myself over and over that my God is there...He is always there! This week has been a time of learning and growing. It's been a week of dependence and trust. It's been a time of weakness and strength.

As I sat on my bed a few nights ago...I began to feel that sense of inadequacy. I began to feel useless and to be honest...I was longing for home. I wanted my comforts back. I wanted my security back. During that time of loneliness and longing, I realized my security was in the wrong place. I realized that I had began to trust in myself and my own strength. I let a guard down and became "confident" in my own abilities instead of totally depending on God. You see...when I came to Madagascar, I set out to learn a lesson of independence and dependence. I wanted to really learn to be independent from people and things and to be fully dependent on God, and all He is for me!! I knew it was going to be hard. I knew it was going to be challenging, but I knew that I desperately needed it. 

In our week of orientation we were "warned" about culture shock. We were told that we would go through these phases where we would feel great and excited about all the new things. We would love the culture and feel so peaceful and great! Then we would probably go through a time where we had culture shock. We would be ready to go home...we would feel overwhelmed with everything. The  newness would fade away and we would face reality. We would realize that 4.5 months is a lot longer than it seems. But we also learned that we would come back up and get settled back in and remember why we were there. 

Like I said...I realized I was right in the middle of the culture shock cycle. However, as I began to pray and seek God, I realized something. It is so much more than a culture shock that we go through during that time. I think it's more Gods way of bring us to the place of total dependence on Him. You see I had become comfortable. I felt somewhat confident in my abilities to get around the city. I felt good about being here. I felt good about what we were going to be doing here. I felt too good...too confident. So God began breaking me down and taking "me" out of the equation. It was all for His purpose...for my good. I was reminded by my sweet friend and mentor that God had a purpose for me here. She reminded me that In my weakness...I am strong...because His strength is made perfect in my weakness!! What a blessing it is to have good..honest people to speak into your life!!

So I sit here tonight...amazed at His grace! I am totally amazed that He cares so much about me. That He wants to use me. That He wants to mold me into who He wants me to be.

Today was our first day speaking about True Love Waits to the youth at a church here in Tana. It went so good and was so encouraging! I plan to blog about it in the next few days. I have been working on this post for a couple days and haven't been able to finish it. :)


Sorry it's so long :) More on the TLW later!!

Love Loves!!